"I met this girl when I was ten years old..."

I enjoy hip hop. Like really really good hip hop and rap. I like the kind of hip hop that tells a story. Now, all hip hop and rap tell a story but the really good guys say it in a poetic, clever and rythmic prose. Today's version of what is defined as hip hop makes me sad; "I smacked this bitch and then I say have a baby by me..." is not hip hop, sorry. That's not even trying. That's like me saying "Got outta bed, went to the head, and to my surprise what fell outta my hole and into the bowl was a green shit....true story, no lies". Where's my million dollar contract?

So anyway all this has a story behind it. I'm walking to the bathroom today at work and see three guys crowded around the Mens room. Two of them seem to be having an in-depth conversation. The other one, who we will call the moderator, is...moderating. As I near the two men it looks as though one has control of the conversation, so I didn't want to stare cause that would be really rude.

Well upon entering the restroom I get close enough to the trio of men and realize that the one " in control" is actually freestlying.

These men were freestyle battling outside of the Mens Room in Navy Pier.

Yes, take some time and think of how that looks. Ill wait.

Its one of those moments where you think you've seen it all, then something like this pops up. Has the rap game really gotten that bad that men and, I shutter to think, women, must spit their skills next to a urinal?

So I'm peeing and I can still here the one guy going on and on about how much of a *expletive deleted* he is on streets and so on. Now I'm not gonna pretend that I know everything about rap or hip hop. I mean people are discovered walking down the street! But in front of the bathroom, really? So I finish and walk out to the "in contol guy", finished, and the one guy taking the insults saying "hold on, don't move, Ill be back". He proceeds to walk into the bathroom and...well use it. C'mon I didn't follow him or nothing. So the moderator stands there congratulating his meal ticket; "you went hard man, too hard".

Now I'm no freestyler but isn't the point of freestlying, that you have to give mic to the other guy so he can immediately respond to your rhyme? And this guy is getting the opportunity to use the bathroom and prepare to battle. Oh No, I'm sorry, that's cheating if I ever ran an underground freestlying club.

The saddest part of this story is that there was a young boy on the opposite side of the three men who had this big smile on his face. It was a face of awe because I'm sure he'd never seen anything like this before. This boy will one day grow up and become a hip hop star, hopefully better than todays, and he will work up through the ranks of freestlye battling. When he makes it big and is the musical guest on shows like Lettermen or Conan and he's asked "what started all this?" It won't be because of Common's 90's hit "The Light". It will sadly be because of a battle he saw outside a mens room at Navy Pier.

-B

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The woman in the Red Dress....

...oh I'm sorry, although it was a cool scene in The Matrix, that was just to peak your interest. It was more like the fat, curly haired, fat, "let's go to the golden arches so I can IV a line of grease into my body", FAT, fat, Fat....did I mention Fat? Customer who just fit her fatass into my store.

Let me lay the scene out for you.

So I'm sitting here in my store making sure all is well and a woman askes for a better price on an item in the store. I say I cannot makes changes like that but, deep down I know times are hard and if she really wants the item Ill try to work with her on it. So I indulge her and ask what she would pay for it.

"15.99"

Not a bad price. But too low. I attempt to have some clever banter with her and she goes on to bluntly ask "who are you? Are you the owner?" "Can you even make these calls" Maybe you should call someone?" blah, blah, fat talk. Then, she grabs another item that is wrapped differntly and while I tell her that all of the items are of a certain quality brand, she's begins to mock me as though a small child would a younger brother or sister. At this point I felt like Liam Neeson in Darkman when the carnie wouldn't give him a stuffed animal for his girlfriend.

So now that I'm in rage mode and I'm trying to remain the diligent employee, she decides to use the item and tap the bottom part of my chin while saying " Your losing your sense of humor..." all with a playful, Joker like smile on her face.

I really wish I had a pencil at this moment.

I contain myself cause from the hours of 4 to 10 I am the face of this establishment. I sit there very much in shock at the liberties this woman imagined she had. Her friend purchases an item and then exits the store.

I'm starting a petiton to say that there should be a list of guidelines and exceptions to the "customer is always right" motto. Cause if this shit happens again I'm calling in the Coaliton!

btw she was fat..don't know if I mentioned it.

~b

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A New Take

Hello to all of you, who still check in on this blog. I've decided that this particular blog of mine shall take a new direction. That of commenting on sites and the possibility of sounds that occur while I'm at work at Navy Pier in Chicago,IL.

hope you like

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