So its 11:39 in the evening and I just finished watching this movie called Elegy with Ben Kingsley and Penelope Cruz. If you haven't seen if I suggest that you go out and rent it.
In the movie, Kingsley plays a middle aged teacher who is just worried about everything, he thinks to much. He starts seeing a student of his who is about 30 yrs. younger than he is. He worries so much about what he is doing and about losing her that in a way he does.
For a moment while watching this movie, I completely related to his thoughts and courses of action. It's amazing to see that age is nothing but a number and that even at an older age, men and possibly women still have the same panicky thoughts of a 22yr. old. These feelings of panic will be with us till they day we die. And why is it that we realize what we have right at the moment that it is going to be taken away from us forever? Human nature I guess.
I personally am a straight shooter. Here is my mentality; I meet a girl and off the bat I don't care what anyone says, looks are everything. I mean an initial physical attraction is there somewhere. Usually there is something that captures my attention about a certain individual. The way she carries herself, her smile, her interests, etc. Its all in the conversation to me, a conversation can hold so much in what starts out as just a conversation....still with me?
So the convo starts, things are good. You find out that you both have similar interests and that each of you like each other, almost in a way that reminds you of that black and white painting where two kids are kissing each other on the lips. Its harmless, exciting, a beautiful thing to behold when it happens. Cliche I know, but you are literally on cloud 9, naw fuck it, I'm going to cloud 11 on that one.
Everything is perfect right? yes? no? Its only when things get blurry that this "digital fairytale" starts to crumble. By blurry I mean, that someone stops. No reason just "brick wall". Is it fear? Panic? There is that word again. I don't know. I like somebody, I tell em simply as that. I've learned that you can't waste time. So much time is wasting on playing the "game" or "spitting game"that what ever was there in the beginning is now lost. But then again this is only my outlook on things. I'm not saying TIME is a bad thing, I just like to strike while the iron is hot.
Now if you have game, more power to you. But I go on the notion that my game is that I have no game. I don't have line or anything like that, if it happens then it happens. When it does happen I think that those people are the one's who truly deserve your dedication, your time.
I've had this happen three times. This third time, I'm still trying to figure it out. Is it too much? coming on too strong? I guess If I'm asking those questions to myself, my answer is already there.
It is pretty crazy the thoughts and emotions that movies can bring out in you. Even before and after this movie I'll be thinking about this stuff. WE all will, I mean again human nature.
Well I hope I can instill some sort of thought or conversation with this bit of insight. If you can call it that. Have a good night I'm heading to bed.
-StuntmanBob
